Spilled Tea- Britain’s political explanatory
Nov 18th 2019 | New York City, NY; drawn by Japan
A tragic split
Brexit, Britain’s Icarus
But when will those wings melt
SO TO START this segment I need credibility, which means in order to make fun of others, I need to make fun of myself. So for my first article, I will be discussing my failings then, and what more significant mistake I have then Brexit. We all thought Theresa May was terrible? Well, she was only the symptom of the disease. Since the next guy in line is what America has times cancer. Not to mention that the only people who would benefit from this would be Scotland. Since they are trying to use this to kick start Scottish independence. So with that being said, watch as I pretend I am not Britain and look at my problems from a different view. Doing the most British thing of all and write self-deprecating humour about myself.
What is Brexit?
For many people outside of Europe, Brexit has been a buzz word you hear but never look into, we all heard about it back in 2016. Probably nothing has changed, so why read about it now? Well, right now Brexit is in its do or die last stages, so what better way to be fashionably late than to talk about it now. Britain announced in 2016 that it would be leaving the European Union (EU). A decision supported by Euro-sceptics who also kept Britain from adopting the Euro in 1999. However, these Euro-sceptics were focused on a new issue, and that was migrants. At the time Britain took in about 500 migrants into its population per day, Euro-sceptics thought they could better control the migrant situation by leaving the EU block. Those who opposed leaving the EU argued that it would be an economical disaster, and they were not too far off from the truth.
The stalls, The ugly, And the downright flip-floppy
Prime Minister David Cameron objected to the idea of Brexit because he said it would be an economic disaster. Cameron tried to make a deal with the EU to gain the right to restrict welfare to migrants through a compromise with the Brexiteers. Though when Brexit was left to a vote, the vote to stay lost with leaving the EU at 52% and remaining at 48%. After this, David Cameron resigned, making way for the long line of disasters that were to come. Starting with the Brexiteer cherry picker herself, die-hard resident of Chequers, Theresa May. Theresa May promised to leave the EU, and in her five years run as Prime Minister, she was most known for this stance on Brexit and how it made her the laughing stock of its entirety.
While she had issues in the past with getting deals to work, the most notable defeats came in 2018-2019, which resulted in her resignation in that same year. Her downfall started to snowball with a deal that took her some time with Parliament. Twisting elbows and even calling everyone over to her home in Chequers, only to get wholly rejected and be called a cherry picker. It was a blow to the face, and after this Theresa May tried deal after deal to no avail. MPs were dropping like flies with every extension she begged the EU for, at first they were going to leave in March, then in December. It got to a point where Germany and France ushered her out of the room, choosing to discuss Brexit without her.
She was indeed getting nowhere with the new extensions she was given. Moreover, with the MPs dropping likes flies and getting absolutely no respect from her party and the EU, a no-deal Brexit seemed to be the case. So she did what everyone thought she was going to do. She sent in her resignation and went for a holiday in her beloved Chequers. — Saying to everyone who wanted to talk about Brexit, can visit her there.
That was just the beginning because she at least lasted five years, the worst which is what we have now is none other than Boris Johnson or Bojo himself. After the resignation of Theresa May, Parliament decided to hold a non-public vote for the next Prime Minister. It would either be left-wing policy gymnast Jeremy Corbyn or right-wing Donald Trump look-alike Bojo, and the Parliament chose Bojo. Bojo promised that he was going to get Brexit by October 31, 2019, with deal or no deal, and he sure lived up to the no-deal option.
He planned to suspend Parliament, locking everyone out, so that the EU would be forced to kick Britain out without a say from anyone else. His parlour trick exposed his nonexistent fallout plan, which consisted of letting England deal with his mess. Bojo’s plan caused outrage amongst Parliament, and they quickly voted for no confidence, resulting in the Supreme court deeming what Bojo did was unconstitutional. So now Bojo is forced to find a deal, all the while still saying how confident he is that Britain will leave. His most recent controversy being about a murdered MP Jo Cox, where he said to Jo Cox’s friends that they should back Brexit if they did not want death threats. Our Prime Minister everybody!
With the amount of disdain the media and the MPs themselves have for Bojo, Parliament thankfully vetoes anything he tries to do, and it seems most likely he will be forced to resign. With that said his likely replacement would be Jeremy Corbyn but he has his problems too. Such as flipping through policies as one would flip on a light switch. Trying to please both sides in a way that makes you ask if when hired originally for his job in Parliament, he took one look at the word public servant and decided to run with it. The only good thing he does is supporting Britain’s stay in the EU, and due to his flip-floppy nature, he cannot even do that correctly. The bottom line for him is that he wants to please everybody, but in the process, he cannot please anybody. Moreover, he is still a better choice than the current Prime Minister, which is just rubbish.
Deal or No Deal
Because of Britain’s prideful nature, they will most likely leave out of pure spite and pride, especially since they are this deep in Brexit, which is a can of worms for another day. For now, let us settle on examining some of the suggested deals so far, and what a no-deal Brexit means. So to start with the negotiations, Brexiteers in Britain do not want a real deal but a swift exit with a free trade agreement, though most Brexiteers support a Canada style trade deal. Remainders wanted a second referendum, we have already talked about the Chequers’ plan, but there were alternatives that the EU brought up that Britain will not go for but are still interesting to look at.
Norway more like No way!
Norway plus was an old alternative to the Chequers plan, yes the one that failed miserably and even in failure Britain still refused the Norway plus deal. Essentially this deal is to become an EFTA member state with a membership to the EEA, very similar to Norway’s relationship to the EU. A Norway plus deal would be more costly, but you will get to cherry-pick specific options to protect your economy from the EU. Because it is a separate deal from the EU membership, Britain might have to take in some migrants which have been a sticking point for some Brexiteers. The only problem is by taking this deal it is like if Britain never left the EU since they would still be so close, it kind of defeats the purpose. Also, by taking this deal, Scotland would become more welcomed as a separate independent entity away from the UK, which is not a welcomed change in Britain’s eyes, despite it being the best option. Moreover, this “best option” is not even ideal since this deal only works for Norway, Iceland, and Liechtenstein. Because they are rich from oil and or tax haven money they can afford to have both memberships to qualify to be an EFTA and be part of the EEA, which England lacks the funds to do. Even then Norway still has to remain close to the EU because of Denmark and Sweden.
Norway, Iceland, and Liechtenstein do not command a prominent spot on the world stage like Britain, which means they avoid the need to spend their money on what it takes to have a voice on the world stage. With military to political backing that money gets spread thin. The bottom line is that Britain is “Norway” there to getting there.
Canada, No thank you please, sorry eh’
Canada, No thank you please, sorry eh.’
The other old alternative is the Canada plan or the super Canada plan, dubbed by Bojo himself as “easy”. Super Canada plan consists of zero tariffs and zero quotas on all imports and exports, and mutual recognition agreements covering UK and EU regulation. Bojo’s claims of the Canada plan’s sensible technological solutions to keep supply chains operating smoothly with a deal covering goods and services are debatable.
Now if this does not sound like cherry-picking, then I do not know what does? Not only does it further harden the Irish border, but CETA is not even a customs union, it is a trade agreement. It also does not cover services and free movement of people to other countries in the EU, which is what Britain relies on the most. Not to mention that since Canada does not have a border with the EU, it causes more issues with the Irish border, which is already tricky enough.
A Brexiteer solution was to make the border process digital, so you would not have to physically check items going through the border because of technology and other trusted trader schemes. Meaning a company exporting to the EU would have a sticker on its boxes, and an electric censor would confirm that it is safe to go into the EU, or the EU approves the company. However, this invisible border for Ireland was just a proposal, and probably will not be put into action.
UK’s insistence on the Canda plan would give them a mental separation along with a close EU trade relationship that affords them all the trade goodies with desired limited migrant policy. However, the UK will also be considered a third country just as Canada is currently and will not be in the same position as other EU countries, and this can cause trade friction.
No deal
Now with the clock ticking towards October 31 with no actual deal even brought up once, it is time to consider the idea of no-deal Brexit. We have talked about Norway’s plan, we have talked about Canada’s plan. However, in the likely scenario, nothing gets chosen no-deal Brexit is our winner for worst choice possible. In terms a no-deal Brexit is simple, Britain leaves the EU without any deal, but while the terms are simple, the impact is not. The impact of Britain leaving the EU is not favourable, a no-deal Brexit is even worse. WTO is likely to get involved since a no-deal Brexit also brings zero trade agreements with anyone in the EU, which means that tariffs and taxes need to be applied separately to every country they would trade with who are under the EU flag. This hurts business and agreements to get rid of most tariffs on UK products entering the EU can be one-sided, not to mention that a no-deal Brexit means that Britain loses access to the EU single market which is the UK’s biggest trading partner.
Border checks would be a tedious affair since Britain now needs to get goods checked by every country in the EU they have trade with, and Britain’s tourism will decline since EU residents will experience the hassles of using their passports. Prices from food to furniture can rise steadily, EU health care cards will become invalid, and EU immigrants will have to leave. Such as the Polish migrants who are the majority in taking up nursing and other odd jobs, sure they can apply for settled status, but it will be a long, arduous process that many will avoid. Also, let us not forget diplomatically speaking no one in the EU would like Britain after this. After a no-deal, the EU as a whole would dislike Britain terribly. The EU is Britain’s most current significant trading partner, who is very close to Britain geographically. It goes without saying that it will be a difficult divorce. I guess we know for sure who is not winning Euro-vision after no-deal happens.
The border hassles, price rates going up, and EU resident problems will also be applied to any Brexit situation because this is internally a Brexit problem. We are not even covering all the problems Brexit has as a whole, and the only thing Britain would get out of this is their wish to kick the immigrants out only for it to make way for all the British immigrants in the EU getting sent right back to England. Oh! The English pride and their sovereignty I guess, but sacrificing a substantial economic market, the risk of food, health, and animal rights along with possible labour shortages and prevention of sharing some intelligence information are somehow worth all the trouble.
UK- United Kingdom of Great Britain and ….. Where are Scotland and Northern Ireland Guys?
With Britain leaving the EU, members of the UK, namely Scotland and Northern Ireland, want to stay in the EU, and the EU wants them to stay there as well. Moreover, they will not take to kindly if Britain were to yank them out of the EU.
Is Scotland finally free?
As we said before several Scottish people support Brexit because they want to use it as a way to get out of the UK, other Scots see the Brexit situation, as England doing their thing and hoping Scotland is not dragged into it. Brexit as a whole showed Scotland how little of a voice they have, causing most to want to leave the UK. Most of their massive imports are from the EU, so it is not a surprise the majority want to stay in the EU. Bojo also has a considerable controversy in Scotland right now. With Bojo saying they should ban Scotland’s first Minister from attending a conference held in Scotland’s biggest city, which is something they obviously cannot do. Not to mention, he wanted to see a Union Jack flag instead of the Scottish flag flying. Right now Scottish courts are debating whether or not Bojo should go to jail for his actions. Leaving the UK could be a substantial financial challenge. Brexit also represents a substantial financial challenge for Scotland. Maybe if Scotland plays their cards right with the EU, they will finally be out of the UK’s grip
Irish reunification
The Irish border has been a tough topic for Brexit. Northern Ireland and Ireland while separate from each other, they have a soft border. Moreover, since in the EU a passport is not needed, as a tourist you could hardly tell the difference. However, with Brexit Northern Ireland would need to have a passport border functionally hardening the Irish border something that both sides want to avoid. Northern Ireland has an insurance policy known as Backstop to avoid a hard Irish border, but this would mean Northern Ireland would remain in the EU, which, according to Bojo, violates British sovereignty. However, many are worried that with a hard border Ireland’s violent past might repeat itself since no one knows how many Irish nationalists are willing to get violent for this cause.
Conclusion
If Britain wants to leave, there must be a deal, and even then if they leave the union, it will be rocky for some time. Which is to say, if the UK might even still be the United Kingdom of Britain, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland? Britain wants a change they are not prepared for since we have not even begun to talk about all the rules and laws they would need to rewrite. Isn’t it best to stay, since Britain is too stubborn for actual change, and even if they left with the Norway deal, they do not even have the money to do so.
Well, this sure hurt my soul, though by looking at my problems from a different view, let see things I could not see before. However, if you think I am going to change, then your dead wrong! Nevertheless, even if I did not learn anything, this was all worth it to gain the credibility to make fun of France.
A Brexit Study- Britain political explanatory Nov 18th 2019 | New york City, NY; written by The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
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